“It’s all about the Bride,” is a popular motto thrown around by wedding vendors, guests, and even the bride occasionally, during a wedding. Yes, brides are amazing. Especially kind hearted, dynamic, beautiful ladies in gorgeous beaded dresses (Rasheedah- I’m talking about you!). But I’m about to say something controversial. Weddings are NOT about the Bride.
And they are not about the Groom either. Or any other cliche’ version you can come up with.


Weddings are about bonds.

IJ Photo seattle wedding photographer Thornewood Castle (25)The family is the first bond a child experiences. Minutes after being born they are wrapped in the loving arms of a mother, then gently snuggled by a father, and later kissed and adored by siblings. From our first breath, we are set on a journey to create, strengthen, and protect the bonds of family. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Is it worth it? Without a doubt. Those bonds propel us through our lives. They are our safety net when we hurt the most. They are our fan club when we compete, excel, and even when we fail. Knowing you can always turn to your parents builds a healthy understanding of trust, love, and commitment. It’s the example of parental love for one another that make us want to marry in the first place. If we are truly blessed, we’ve watched our family bonds grow every day.

So it’s no wonder that it’s a big deal when a father’s little girl decides to get married. A daughter’s wedding reminds her dad that all of the late nights, homework projects, walks in the park, and stolen kisses, have led to this moment. He also knows that his bond with his daughter is changing. They will always have their past, (bonds like these are forged with the strongest metal) and now he knows she has a future with a husband that will love, honor, and cherish her just as he does. The father and son bond changes as well. The father of the groom spends his son’s wedding day often feeling a sense of great pride in the man his son has become. While it might go unsaid,both men now share something special. They each have committed themselves to a life of giving and caring. The son it looking forward to the new bond with his wife and a lifetime of working together, sharing memories, and sacrificing for one another. The father looking back at his own life notices it is marked with these same milestones and knows this path will bring his son so much joy.

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There are more bonds of course. Mothers who were the first teachers, first playmates, and first loves. No one is closer to a mother’s heart than her child. There is no words for the depth of this bond. Grandparents have bonds too. They have seen multiple generations grow. They have also started and/or passed on traditions that makes a family unique. The bonds between friends are ones we choose to weave.They become a family of another variety. The times we spend with our friends will teach us what it means to laugh and how to forgive. Add to these bonds the love of two people that come together and commit their lives to one another. There bond is a culmination of all of the bonds that have come before. They are stronger because of the family and friends they celebrate their union with.

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Love is the string with which all bonds are made. Love is the reason a bride and a groom leave their parent’s and cleave to one another. Love is just what we all want, and what we all need. These bonds are what we celebrate. These bonds are the reason that marriage has never gone out of style or become an outdated social contract. Weddings pull us together to celebrate what makes us happy- the love that only the bonds of family can provide.

Congratulations to Rasheedah and Jordan! Their union is a shining example of what love can be; patient, kind, rejoicing in truth, protecting, trustworthy, and hopeful. I can only guess that the beauty of their love was a tradition handed down through the generations. May God bless you both and help you as you carry on this sacred trust and build your own bond; one that can never be broken.